


Begin Again

by MelanatedRavenclaw



Category: Naruto
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, Seriously this is mostly all fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 07:34:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24467305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelanatedRavenclaw/pseuds/MelanatedRavenclaw
Summary: After Mizuki, Iruka thought he would never find love again. But then Kakashi came and showed him the beauty of new beginnings.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 5
Kudos: 116





	Begin Again

_ "And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid  
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did  
I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does  
Is break and burn and end  
But on a Wednesday in a café I watched it begin again" - Taylor Swift  _

Iruka woke up incredibly warm, there was something, no _someone_ , pressed against his back that was causing the warmth. He smiled to himself as he could feel the man’s breath tickling his neck. The man had him cocooned in with an arm placed securely around his waist. Not wanting to wake the man, he gently slid out of bed to begin getting ready for work. After showering and brushing his teeth he went back into his bedroom to find the man hadn’t moved an inch. 

Smiling, Iruka sat on the bed next to him just watching him breathe. He sometimes couldn’t believe his luck. After everything that had happened to him, this is where he ended up. He still remembered the day he’d had his first real conversation with Kakashi. 

* * *

_Iruka had been in the hospital after the Mizuki incident and Kakashi had been one of the ones assigned to the case. Iruka had been so angry, and everyone thought it was because of the incident itself, but Kakashi had been the only one to assume it may have been something deeper. The man had been quiet during the initial questioning but he waited until all the other shinobi had left and then began asking some questions of his own._

_Sitting in the chair next to the hospital bed, he just stared at Iruka for a while before he spoke._

_“Iruka-sensei, are you in pain?”_

_“It’s not as bad now, they gave me the good stuff,” he gave the man a small smile trying to break the tension in the room._

_“I see. Yes, I’ve been given the good stuff once or twice myself.” Kakashi nodded and responded with a quick smile of his own._

_Iruka continued to smile at the man, he wasn’t sure why he had stayed behind but he also didn’t want to deny the company. He was terrified of being alone, for when he was alone that’s when thoughts of…him would occur. He couldn’t - wouldn’t - let his mind go there._

_“Iruka,” the man began biting his lip in hesitation, “I know I asked you earlier if you were in pain, and you only answered about your physical pain…but…how are you emotionally?”_

_He turned his head to the side, he didn’t want to talk anymore. Not if it meant he had to talk about him._

_“How is Naruto?” he asked instead. It was a pitiful excuse to change the subject but his heart constricted painfully at the thought of talking about him._

_Kakashi, for his part, could easily see what Iruka was doing but also seemed to understand it. “The boy is fine, concerned for you but he seems fine. I know you don’t know this yet but he is going to be on my genin team. I’m excited to get to know the boy you were willing to risk your life for, sensei.”_

_“He can be energetic, and come off as unfocused, but he doesn’t give up easily and has the kindest heart ever.”_

_“It sounds like you are really fond of him.”_

_“I am,” Iruka nodded. It was true, he saw a lot of himself in Naruto. The boy had definitely garnered a special place in his heart._

_“Iruka,” Kakashi started, “Did you love him?”_

_Iruka closed his eyes to try to fight back the tears. He wanted to pretend that Kakashi was talking about Naruto or anything else. But, the question was direct. The man knew. He didn’t know how he knew, it was not as if they were public with their relationship. Mizuki hadn't wanted that. It didn’t make sense for him to know. Iruka wanted to respond to the man, but he couldn’t seem to get his mouth to work._

_He had to open his mouth a few times before he was able to speak. “I-I thought I did.”_

_Kakashi just nodded._

_“How did you know?” He asked the man quietly, avoiding eye contact as he picked at his hospital blanket._

_“There were some parts of your story that weren’t adding up. He had a weapon but you still went closer, it showed trust. But, as a shinobi, we are taught to be aware of our surroundings and always on our guard even with other shinobi. The only thing that would have caused you to let your guard down that much is trust. Unequivocal trust.”_

_Of course, Iruka thought. This was the copy-nin he shouldn’t have been surprised he was able to put things together, to see what others could not. Iruka said nothing after that and Kakashi seemed content to sit in silence with him. It was nice. Peaceful. He could feel his eyelids getting heavy, he found himself jerking his body to force it back into consciousness. Then he felt a warm hand cover his own cold own._

_“It’s okay, Iruka. Get some sleep.”_

_The next day Iruka awoke and Kakashi was still by his side. The man had begun to visit him more frequently as time went on until they settled in a pattern. Kakashi would visit him in the mornings, then leave for lunch as Naruto would then take over, and then rejoin him for dinner. He enjoyed the conversations with Kakashi. The man was like a balm to his battered soul. He managed to make him laugh and it seemed when he was with Kakashi he was able to forget about his current heartbreak. He was healing more physically and emotionally each day._

_“Iruka?” Kakashi tried to get his attention. It was his last night at the hospital. He had been here for two weeks and was itching to finally leave. He and Kakashi would go on walks around the hospital in order to help build up his strength, but it wasn't enough. He was ready for his freedom again. He knew why Kakashi originally came to visit him, but for the life of him, he couldn’t understand why he stayed._

_“I have a confession,” Kakashi spoke softly. When Iruka glanced over he saw the man’s face was down as he played with his hands avoiding Iruka’s eyes. Iruka’s heart constricted, he had just gotten used to Kakashi’s presence. What if the man was tired of him too? Iruka wasn’t sure he could hear the man say their friendship was over. He had come to rely on Kakashi. More than he wanted to admit to himself._

_“What is it?”_

_“I don’t want to upset you, but I also don’t want to continue our...relationship until you know the whole truth.”_

_“The whole truth?”_

_Still avoiding his eyes, Kakashi began to speak. “I knew about you and Mizuki, I knew that you two were…together. We had intel that Mizuki may not have been as trustworthy as we were previously led to believe. So, we began to tail him…maybe three months ago.”_

_The man paused as if waiting for Iruka to comprehend something. It didn’t take Iruka long to see what the man was saying. Iruka and Mizuki began their relationship three months ago._

_“No one thought you were complicit or anything but…it was just a precaution to follow you as well. And, that was my responsibility. One month in, we realized you had no involvement and we were supposed to fall back on focusing on you. But…I couldn’t. I was enamored with you. You are just so thoughtful, you give so much of yourself to everyone and never ask for anything in return. I would stay up late at night and watch you read, sometimes I would even buy the same book and hope I could one day talk to you about it.”_

_He chuckled without humor._

_“I hated him, you know? I hated how this man was playing you. Because of your relationship with the Third, you have access to information that’s usually reserved for ANBU and he took advantage of that. And I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t. I was weak. I blamed it on the mission, but I knew that wasn’t the whole truth. The truth is I thought if you knew the truth about my involvement you would hate me and I wouldn’t be able to bear that.”_

_He grasped Iruka’s hand now staring intently into his eyes. “But, Iruka you’re worth it and should know the truth. You’re so worth it and you deserved so much better than that man. You even deserve better than me, but if you gave me a chance I give you my word that I will love you until my dying day. My love would not be something you need to earn, instead it would be given freely. I want your late-night conversations, and your lazy days, your chalk stained hands after work, your low singing as you make dinner, your tears when you’ve had a long day and your laughter when you’re surrounded by people you love. I know I don’t deserve it, but I want all of you if you’ll be able to find it in your heart to forgive me.”_

_Kakashi continued to stare at Iruka. Iruka knew the man wanted him to speak, to say something - anything. He couldn’t help it, he didn’t know where to begin it was a lot to process. He did know one thing, he wasn’t mad at the man currently holding onto his hand as if his life depended on it. How could he be? The man was only doing his job. He knew Kakashi was worried that he would think Kakashi has deceived him just as Mizuki had but Kakashi had shown him more kindness in two weeks than Mizuki had during their entire relationship. If anything, he was embarrassed that Kakashi knew so much about him. Especially when it came to Mizuki, that part of him he wanted to bury somewhere deep inside of him and throw away the key._

_Staring down at Kakashi though, made him want to at least try._

* * *

Of course, Iruka gave him a chance. The man picked up from the hospital the next day and the two had been inseparable ever since. He definitely had some hard days and nightmares, but Kakashi was always there, just as he had promised. He would grab Iruka and hold him close until he was able to go back to sleep. 

Staring down at the man in his bed, he thought about asking him to move in. He knew Kakashi would say yes. He practically lived here anyway but he was so concerned about not pressuring Iruka and making sure he felt comfortable and in control with everything they did. 

Iruka liked the life the two of them were building for themselves. Kakashi had his demons too, and life wasn’t always easy but it was always the two of them trying to figure it out. Together.

He watched as the man’s eyes slowly fluttered open, as he slowly started to wake up. 

“Good morning,” he muttered, voice gruff with sleep. 

The voice made him shiver, “Good morning. Are you planning to sleep all day?” 

“Only if you sleep with me. Do you work?”

“Yes, just the morning mission desk shift. I should be home by lunchtime.”

The man wrapped a hand around Iruka’s arm and then pulled him down back into the bed. He wrapped an arm around him trapping him to the bed. “Let’s make a deal, if you can get out of my hold then I’ll let you go to work?”

Iruka laughed and rolled his eyes at the man above him. “You’ll let me huh? You don’t own me Hatake.”

“Don’t I know it,” the man said as he slowly lowered his head down to capture Iruka’s lips in his. 

Iruka smiled into the kiss, he was pretty sure kissing Kakashi was one of his top favorite past times. He pulled the man closer, wrapping a leg around his waist gaining leverage so he could flip their positions. The man under him, moaned into the kiss and his hands instantly went to Iruka’s hair releasing it from the ponytail Iruka had just perfected. 

The man was shirtless so Iruka was able to explore the man’s chest. He began to pepper kissed down the man’s neck and his clavicle. He shivered as goosebumps appeared on his arm from listening to the man groan in pleasure beneath him. Then he jumped off the man and off the bed. 

“I have to go to work, Kakashi.” He smiled at the look of distraught on the man’s features. 

“What? No!” 

“You said I just needed to get out of your hold and I did that.”

“Why, you little tease. You cheated!”

“Really Kakashi? You sound like a child,” Iruka laughed as he re-did his ponytail. 

“Maa…if only everyone knew their beloved sensei didn't play fair.” 

“Coming from the copy nin? Does that even really count considering how easily you cheat people out of their jutsu?”

“Touché, my Iruka. Good luck today by the way.” Kakashi said as he started to get out of bed. 

“Good luck?”

“Yes, you’re showing your new jutsu to the Third today. Or did I get it confused and that’s next week?”

Iruka found himself once again struck dumb at the man before him. It was a small thing, but it was in these moments Iruka realized he really loved this man. Mizuki never paid attention to him, he never remembered things. Yet, with Kakashi, the man held on to every word Iruka said. He savored his time with him as if it was a precious gift that may one day be taken from him. 

Walking over to the man, Iruka wrapped his arms around him. Kakashi didn’t question it, he just grasped the man tightly. The two of them had their fair share of moments where being held spoke louder than any words. 

Kakashi had given Iruka a big declaration in the hospital and had always made sure to let Iruka know how he felt. Iruka was a little more hesitant to say the words. He knew Kakashi knew how he felt. The man wasn’t dense, but Iruka knew that he should say it. Kakashi deserved that much. 

Pulling away slightly from the man he began to speak, “Kakashi, I know we don’t talk about the incident much, and I know you still get incredibly angry when you see the scar on my back - but I need to say something. You came into my life when I was quite possible at my most vulnerable. Instead of trying to fix me, you stayed with me and listened to me and let me come back together at my own pace. I don’t think there are words to describe what that meant to me. I know it’s stupid but I constantly find myself comparing you to Mizuki and just how caring you are, how gentle you are. I used to be mad at myself for dating him, but now I’m not as much anymore. Dating him brought me you, and I used to think I would never be able to feel this way about someone again. Then you came into my life and you brought with you courage and hope, and most importantly, love. I used to think my life was over but now I know, I can begin again. I owe that to you.”

He watched as Kakashi stared into his eyes as if searching for his soul. Iruka gently reached up his hand to wipe a tear that had begun to fall from Kakashi’s eye.

“Oh, I guess after all that I forgot to say the most important part. I love you.”

A smile slowly slid on Kakashi’s face before eventually, he barked out a laugh. “That’s the most important part? Gods Iruka, I love you too.” He took Iruka’s face in his hands and leaned down to give him the softest kiss on his forehead. 

“Also,” Iruka started, “I think you should move in.”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Kakashi said with a smile. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!
> 
> I figured we all could use some hardcore fluff during these crazy times. Let me know what you think! Your kudos and comments really make my days brighter. :) 
> 
> MR


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